My Journey In and Out of Christianity

Hi -

I posted this on Facebook on June 23, 2015:

In a nutshell:

. . . I was a Christian for MANY years -- on fire for God, reading the bible sometimes three times a day and AIMING fervently to do what it instructs -- praying sometimes three times a day, including laying prostrate on the floor often three times a day -- speaking in tongues, studying the bible, memorizing bunches of scriptures, going to churches, Sunday school, bible studies, witnessing to others, writing and publishing Christian e-books, and fellowshipping with other Christians. Practicing love, giving, etc. The whole Christian shebang.

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I posted this on Facebook on June 19, 2015:

Hi -

I don't usually get this lengthy in comments, but those inclined may read it in full . . . .

Someone just inboxed to ask me what led me away from Christianity. I responded that I'd answer here.

Like many Christians, I was raised in the church. When I got grown, like many others, I left the church and went into what Christians call "the world." I did my things . . . .

After years, I returned to church. I never fit in because I wasn't the type of Christian who didn't question. I got a lot of resentment for not going along with the status quo flow in the church structure. I wasn't going to change to please them. I was in church attendance but never a part of the system and herd mentality attitudes. There were times when I was present in the assembly but lonely because I didn't cater to what didn't make good sense.

I was a baby Christian during that drama. At one point, church folks opposed me so much that, in grief, I left . . . So I stayed a Christian but stopped going to church. I had a mere few real, deal Christian friends and fellowshipped with them . . . .

After a few years, I was stronger and returned to church attendance. Again, I asked reasonable questions and made reasonable expressions and did my best to talk the talk and to walk the walk according to the bible and spiritual guidance from within. Again, church folks rejected me because I wasn't on board with the ungodly, unloving attitudes and let it be known . . . .  I wasn't unreasonable in tone but questioning and exposing what didn't line up with love and truth, etc.

I joined a church and was mistreated. I church hopped looking for -- NOT a perfect church -- but one that, overall, was sincere about things of bible truths. Most especially I expected love flow from Christians, which very rarely was displayed in ANY of the churches that I visited at length or otherwise. In just about all of the churches that I attended, there were a remnant of good Christian folks who flowed in love; I'm deeply grateful to them.  I never found a church that I fit in. And it is NOT my character to change to get folks to accept me.

I love folks but I love Sandra more and being true to me is vital. Yes, I have flaws just as everyone else but one thing that I am is consistently sincere -- sometimes sincerely wrong but fakeness has NEVER been one of my shortcomings. And people notice that about me and some resent that I don't follow b.s. or what doesn't set right with my inner self. I LOVE sincerity and hate lies. And I've lost count of how many unloving and lying Christians that I've encountered . . . .  Love is key to me but love ain't no wimp.

This got lengthy but . . . .

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Now to answer the inboxed question to me as to why I abandoned Christianity.

Largely, it started with Higher Consciousness. He and I were in the Spirit Led Facebook group as fervent, no nonsense Christians -- KNOW the Word, aiming, in earnest, to live the Word . . . . We gained a close connection -- Tamara Miles, too. Hey you two -- waving, I am.

Anyhow, after having been in Spirit Led for months and "kicking" it together . . . , one day I went on Higher Consciousness' YouTube channel and saw this White dude's video that Higher had liked.

Now most fervent Christians in the Pentecostal community know of the same high profile ministers, T.D. Jakes, Joyce Meyer, Juanita Bynum, Creflo Dollar, etc. Well, this White dude on Higher's channel is someone that I'd never heard of. He was questioning the existence of Satan. Quite surprised, I was like, "What?!"

I inboxed Higher Consciousness 'cause I wanted to know what in the world was up with that. We got on the phone and talked at length . . . we began to talk at length on other days . . . .

One thing that Higher stressed to me when he shared was that I had to research for myself and discover. He told me that more than once. So we kept sharing but I made sure to dig, examine, and to research for myself. And lo and behold, I discovered that much that I'd long been taught and believed was false, mythical, fiction, half-truths, etc.

I then understood why I never fit in the churches that I attended nor did I ever truly fit into Christianity. I've discovered the absolute delight and major contentment of being a free spirit. Now I KNOW, for real, where I fit. It's super splendid.

I have a moral compass and when I'm out of order, I get "gut checks" from the God within to amend my ways. I'm aware of the laws of the universe. I've read up on them. Also, I learn from others.  

I love truth, integrity, and honesty, caring and giving to others. A lot of the Christian principles are from universal laws -- love, joy, giving to others, etc.  Such good "fruits" aren't exclusive to Christianity. There are loving, honest, generous, and responsible Atheists, Agnostics, Muslims, Buddhists, JW's, etc., too. Such isn't EXCLUSIVE to Christians . . . .

Christians and other religions promote separatism, which violates the laws of the universe.

I'm NOT an atheist or any religion, sect or the like. I'm a free spirit and reject limited living, which is what Christianity is, as are other religions.

Do I believe in GOD? Yes, the God within. I believe that God is:

- THE ALL

- SOURCE

- Energy

- Love

- The four elements: water, air, fire, and earth

- And much that is beyond the comprehension of any of us.

No, I no longer believe in Jesus as Lord and Saviour. God doesn't need a middle man.

As do we all, I'm living, learning and amending as deemed fit.

We're all unique and need to learn our unique paths and journeys.

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Though we're all unique, we do have some commonalities . . . .

We need relationships.

The BEST is to reject the separatism that religions promote. The universe is ONENESS. We are all ONE with the rhythm of universal movements.

There is no greater energy field than LOVE.

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Note: I have family members, and a few friends who are Christians.  That works for them.  I love them and they love me.  Love transcends spiritual differences.  I respect that they believe differently -- such is reality.

Note: To view the entirety of this blog, the link is www.journeyawakenings.blogspot.com